Memories...

memories of a time once past
locked in tombs hid in tall grass
once were kept but that did pass
and now i sit without you lass

chipped into a granite stone
a marker for a new found home
a wanderer who cannot roam
reading memories from a tome

time seems to pass by each day
where once were colour now is grey
sometimes don't know what to say
but deep beneith we still can play

i'm so tired yet i still wake
my memories, pictures i take
so much, my past, once was or fake?
more empty memories potters make

i want to know just what is real
the things i say the things i feel
i understand i can't redeal
but now i stand and spew my spiel

forgotten memories of the past
a twisted web that fate did cast
sometimes forever cannot last
a flag still raising to half mast

i remember we were young
what happened then, what had begun
what now is gone but once was spun
a memory mine? a memory won?

i won it where i am not sure
so strong is this image of her
a love once lost but does endure
if only there had been a cure

on bended knee, yet i stand tall
i tried to catch when you did fall
and in my grasp, the final call
so now i stand... alone in all...

one time when i still was young
i knew this girl and we had fun
the twisted games we later shun
back at the start when it begun...

Unconcious Deception
walkin down an old road
tryin to lose myself...
twisting through the memories
stuffed up on the shelf...
findin things i'm lookin for
things i tried to hide...
found a picture of my friend
from just before he died...
i tried to find the ending
the ending of my life...
instead i found another road
turned sharp like a knife...
i ran around the corner
looked and found my way...
a shadow of a memory
formed up out of clay
walkin down a new road
i found the potter's wheel...
the potter in the corner
making fiction real...
remember all the times
you tried to lose yourself...
the answers you remember
from way up on the shelf...
the potter in the background
spinning bowls and junk...
sometimes makes a memory
just to be a punk...
a memory made of fiction
its hard to tell what's real...
what was and what did happen
what came from on the wheel...
i want to know the difference
but they're painted so damn well...
the quality and the detail
makes it hard to tell...
i remember one time
i jumped into the sky...
i flew up over clouds once
i fell but did not die...
that day i found the ending
the ending of the groud...
into clouds was crashing
my thoughts are their soft sound...
sometimes in the shadows
the differences are clear...
without the added detail
the memories do not steer...
both though, not one only
real memories as well...
lost and become fiction
its just so hard to tell...
a thousand empty memories
an artist and a scribe...
the fiction that becomes them
for the two to decide...
a thousand times the sorrow
things that once were blank...
sometimes fictious happiness
to them i smile and thank...
but then the darker memories
of friends that met their ends...
its hard to tell what's real
and with who i was not friends...
a laps of time exists now
a resevoir of thought...
the fiction and the real
the difference? there is not...
years and years are empty
blankness upon the slate...
i guess i've made it easy
and opened a new gate...
the memories they write now
i can not question...
just like the happy potter
how now pots just for them...
a background growing darker
my past has disapeared...
no friends are in my memories
but has the list been cleared..?
maybe they were never
standing with me there...
for now i look around me
they are not anywhere...
what ever makes you wonder
if you are all alone...
what makes you sit and question
the writing in the stone...
when emtiness surrounds me
i guess i try to find...
some place to stay and be free
sanctuary in my mind...

deeper...

everyday brings something new,
another something i cant do
alone and waiting, almost through
then waiting longer, lies from you...

i wake up from restless sleep
the days in passing make me weep
i cant hold on, its hard to keep
a grip on nothing, something deep...

an empty morning, full of bliss
the happy feelings that i miss
its quiet now, but hear it hiss
theres something deeper within this

an empty thought brings empty clues
with empty leads to empty news
funny, empty, in my shoes
my road you walk, which path you choose

the darkness surrounds every light
a lonely thought within the night
mayhap the morrow ends the plite
doubtful but hold on in spite

for ever gripping the nothing
at least i could if was a dream
but eight years too long it does seem
my fingers slipping... final scream...

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss

i say, dear chap, it's dr Seuss
are you sure t'is, mother goose?
yes im sure, t'is dr. suess
how grand, please pass the chocolate moose
the chocolate moose? its dr Seuss!
i know its Seuss. please pass the moose
the moose? but Seuss! gad zukes, no use
t'is wonderful this chocolate moose
"a moose of chocolate? - hi, im Seuss"
t'is Seuss i said, im mother goose
and this, my friend with chocolate moose
chocolate moose for dr Seuss?
for dr Seuss some chocolate moose
the moose is loose i say miss goose
miss goose? why thank you dr Seuss
but we don't have to chase the moose
the chocolate moose is here for use
and soon we'll all have each some moose
for me, my friend, and dr Seuss
no i am full and need no moose
so i will help you mother goose
and we will cook for dr Seuss
to make him more, more chocolate moose
why thank you friend, to help miss goose
no no, miss goose, go sit with Seuss
yes i will show i am of use
and make you both some chocolate moose
to wait with Seuss, t'is not abuse
i wait, i sit, i do amuse
but to sit an wait with dr Seuss
its ready now your chocolate moose
and friend and goose with dr Seuss
sat happily with chocolate moose
none of them put spoons in use
instead with sporks they got from who's
the who's who use the sporks with moose
yes moose of chocolate, moose for who's
and more they came, all who's who use
they brought with them, not moose or spoons
instead just sporks, they wanted moose
we tried to make more, it was no use
until then suddenly came Seuss
who knew just what it was we could use
he picked his pen and wrote of whos
of whos and what's with sporks not spoons
and each who had brought his moose
at least in writing, so said Seuss
so Seuss, who'd written of the whos
he signed it "Seuss - a gift to whos"
then let the pen and parchment loose
and suddenly the who's had moose!
we sat with whos, miss goose, and Seuss
and each we ate our chocolate moose
a friend of goose and now of Seuss
is one who can make chocolate moose
and if you can't make chocolate moose
that's fine, you still are friend of Seuss
the Seuss in you will write the whos
to just have with them their own moose
their moose they will share with you
this Whoville moose is great said goose!
yes mother goose who's filled with moose
and yes, it was, t'was dr Seuss...

- Kain McBride

emptiness entwined...

...
a night...
it never ends...
drags on longer...
longer...
never stopping...

a darkness...
it entwines...
bringing sorrow...
anger...
rage...
hate...
all at once...
entwined...

an emptiness...
fills the gaps...
pulling harder...
always inward...
ripping...
shredding all that’s left...
harder...
it pulls until its gone...

an answer...
to what..?
to my sorrow..?
no...
sit and wait...
the emptiness returns...
it all ends...
in time...

a question...
always a question...
eating through the answers
so kindly given...
pity...
the questers question...
a pit of lies...
the answer therein...

a problem...
something new...
something old...
yes something knew...
knew and known...
the answers hidden...
drawn away from...
the quester's problem...
hatred sought...

a promise...
the ending comes...
soon its over...
soon again...
the end...
a new beginning...
new not known...
going faster...
hard to stand up...
falling quickly...
the end in sight...

a new beginning...
like the old one...
starting over...
a new wait...
hatred...
blood it boils...
rage rebirthed now...
pain my friend...

a dead end...
took the wrong road...
no more choices...
all is lost...
i am waiting...
in the distance...
there is something...
finding me...

new life...
comes from old death...
new beginnings...
long since past..,.
hatred...
always present...
always loving...
all my pains...

a new day...
another ending...
another waiting...
lost again...

life...
yes one worth living...
lost forever...
sands of time...
far to long...
lost in darkness...
split together...
hate entwines...

no more...
any longer...
too much anger...
nothing left...
eating...
at my self now...
sanity now...
something lost...

alone...
empty darkness...
can not find it...
i am there...
see me...
past the nothing...
no more something...
gone beware...

cold now...
in the darkness...
all alone now...
nothing there...
empty...
without content...
all ripped out now...
its not fair...

Changed: By The World...

i'm not the man, i was before
its just that life, it closed that door
sometimes the world, is like a whore
and i just can't take it anymore

sometimes i wake up and it's fine
all life is free, but just not mine
people are happy, most the time
i wish i was, but i'm not fine

i want to see you every day
i want to know i did repay
all of this shit it cannot stay
what the hell is this anyway

sometimes i get so mad it hurts
wearing old jeans and older shirts
i speak my mind, my mind it blerts
with liquid thought the liquid squirts

inside my heart, i feel the pain
i try to love, but it does strain
just so much hurt, it's not the same
i guess the world has gone insane

the morning comes and then it goes
i watch the world, the path it chose
choice has been made, i guess it shows
even if from time to time it blows

i want to tell you what i think
i don't know how, i need a drink
your miniskirt, your shirt it's pink
they're pushin me way passed the brink

i just can't hold on anymore
the time for life ended before
i don't know how to settle the score
too late for that, it was before

i want to let you know i care
try to find you, but don't know where
if only things sometimes were fair
then i would look and you'd be there

i'm not sober all the time
sometimes i'm happy, things are fine
i try to be there in my rhyme
late at night the moon does shine

you look at me, you see the signs
you just don't care about the times
the help you bring, i guess it binds
standing outside, my friends, the pines

there's only so much i can take
every day when i do wake
i feel the rage inside the quake
it's so strong now that i do shake

i want to let you know it's fine
i want to hold you all the time
i want to get passed the sublime
and just be happy in my rhyme

why can't the world just take a break
stop fucking with me for goodness sake
just let me be when i'm awake
there's only so much you can retake

when life it falls, it falls hard
hit by a bus, hey here's my card
like it matters, my life is scared
and now the world it has been barred

so soon its over, i don't care
the world is gone, and it's not fair
whats your problem, why you stare
and then it ends, the when and where...

(i haven't posted in a while, so meh - this is somethin i'm posting... :p like it, hate it, read it, ignore it, your choice... but if you read it i hope you enjoy i... :))
... just a somethin...
very lonely
in the dark
cold and scary
at the park
kind of earee
silent shark
dangling freely
in the park
struggled briefly
left a mark
death is easy
in the park
from a tall tree
no more spark
hanging freely
after dark...

(i know know, i haven't posted in a long time... but, i don't know, i just havent' been in a writing kinda mood... anyway, this one is all spell checked any everything! so if you find any errors in the spelling, let me know i guess, but it's not my fault :p so there! hope you enjoy it... i know, not my style... but meh...)

Life in the Rice lane

I didn't know fisherprice
had started to make rice
but I had it like twice
and like wow it was nice
so I went and called Brice...
now Brice,
he is nice,
though he wanted it thrice,
so he asked for his rice
and then called fisherprice,
now fisherprice
said to Brice,
though they thought he was nice,
that the thing about rice,
is that it's too precise,
so they stopped making it twice,
after reinstated by Brice,
'cause he bought fisherprice,
and was fired for lice,
but the thing about Brice
is he wasn't always nice
so he called up his wife
who was also not nice
and they made a device
to create all the rice
and they sold fisherprice
to a catcher of mice
and the catcher of mice
bankrupted fisherpice
trying to make a device
that could better catch mice...
so now fisherprice
is on ice
while Brice
and his wife
still dealing with lice
and still eating their rice
for the rest of their life
in a desert of ice
'cause freedom brought a price
and surrounded by mice
they wished that fisherprice
had completed set device
to be sold at fair price
to the people like Brice
no, to Brice and his wife
who had troubles with mice
for good portions of their life...

look!
in the sky
way up high
what is that?
in that hat?
it's a bird!
it's a plane!
WHAT THE FUCK!
YOU'RE INSANE!
yes, a bird
it has wings
wings with feathers, without strings
and it sings!
flaps it's wings!
flys around, and without springs!
and a plane!
yes a plane...
made of metal, and brand name
no more singing
no more flapping
all the people, sitting, napping
time for me...
time for you...
things we really, need to do
don't know when
don't know why
but there's something in the sky
look up there!
what is that!
oh my god - no not that!
it's a sign!
"you're gonna die!"
no i'm not, but nice try
maybe someday
maybe oneday
not today though, this is why
i'm alive
energized!
hooked on phonics, hypnotized
do you see?
what i be?
do you know just what to plea?
final answer?
just a thought?
think outloud? or not a lot?
what the hell!
what's that smell!
rotten apples? hard to tell!
look at me!
look right now!
tell me what! and why! and how!
what you see?
why you saw?
how you felt when you found flaw?
what is wrong?
with this song?
does it flow or is it gone?
do you feel?
what i feel?
was i too late, did it heal?
i can't tell!
if it fell?
on it's way up, back from hell!
tell me why!
you're a spy!
look, no really, i'm a nice guy!
no more threats
no more pets,
what's with pets and then with threats?
did you say!
hey today!
imma go see what to play!
with that thing
with that ring
you and it, you are matching!
i don't know!
where's the flow?
where the hell did it all go?
type to fast?
come in last?
what you mean you can't read fast?
do i jest?
at my best?
come and see and pass the test
in the past?
what was last?
was the future, what a gast!
when you think
and you feel
what is wrong and what is ill
so you start
and you cart
all that stuff that you empart
all around!
what's that sound!
it's a bomb! down to the ground!
what you mean?
you have seen?
all the things that still are green?
even that?
it's a cat!
dyed with Jello - low in fat!
come and see!
dance with me!
round in circles, lots of glee!
don't know why?
don't know when?
that's ok, it'll be again...
when it was
just because
what's it do? that's what it does!
and before?
wait, but when?
did you ask this once again?
i don't get it
why you sweat it
what the hell, just don't regret it
tell you what
hey! nice butt
look at me, i the'd the what!
what to say?
do you play?
yes i do, but not today!
do you swim?
sure can tim
that's good, now go get slim
what you say?
i'm over weight?
in your dreams, guess it's too late
do you see stars?
do you drive cars?
when you sleep are you on mars?
maybe now?
when you're here
you're an echo to a dear
that you love
that you shove
all emotions are above!
what i see?
what is now?
i don't know, it's gone somehow
do you know
what i know?
are you sure you want to go?
when you stay?
far away?
do you think it's good today?
i will die?
no, you lie!
fall from buildings and i fly!
not today!
not this way!
call me master, and lets play!
look at me!
in my eye
what the hell you try to try?
when you hide?
swallow pride?
can you stand to be denied?
do you know
where to go
when the answers do now show
do you see
woh is me
sometimes thing just cannot be
when you want
what you cant
have for breakfast, so you flaunt
and you taunt
with that want
pretend you have it, what a stunt
do you think
that it worked?
are you that dumb or obserd?
do you feel?
if you kneel?
all the answers shall reveal?
look! the time!
it's not mine!
no more things within this rhyme
that's a no!
far too slow!
that is it and so i go!

Well, there have been no donations yet, which is good 'cause i failed to mention that i will be making a donations section so that people know you donated. I will include the name of the donator, the amount of donation (total), and the number of donations made. This will only apply when total donations reach over $5 for that person, and i will only put it up if you want me to. Please email me at kain.mcbride@sympatico.ca when you make a donation and include the name you want to be listed as, along with a comment if you want one to be posted next to your name. Otherwise it will say "no comments" or something like that.

Anyway, that's it. I won't include your email address as i don't want you to get spammed, but if you want me to include your email address let me know.

Kain McBride

I would like to say that i've been doing this for a long time, and i've been enjoying it... unfortunately, i can't really afford it... not that it costs me anything, other than time, just that i don't have any money... lol... anyway, i'm going to keep doing this as much as i can, and i hope that you are enjoying it... :) i don't get a lot of comments anymore, i use to with the old system and after it disapeared i kinda had every stop commenting :( i wish they woudl continue to comment... please comment... anyway...

what's new...

ok, so i just set up the whole donation thing. If you don't like it, and think that it's wrong that i would like to have some money, since i'm flat broke, more so than you could even comprehend, then...

Fuck you... get the fuck off my site... if i catch your ass back here imma slap you so fuckin hard that your head'll spin at least 360...

Now, that's not to say that if you're not going to donate, i don't want you to be here... that's just to say that if you don't think i deserve it, then i don't want you here. This is something that i set up because i have 0 cash, and need some money. I know that some people who have read my poems think that they are worth it, so maybe some of you will actually donate some money. I don't really care how much, i'm not concerned with that. The donate "other" button and the "make a donation' buttons at the bottom of every post allow you to enter a custom amount of money to donate. Other than that, i have a donate 5, donate 10, donate 20, donate 50, and donate 100. I tried to set up a 'donate 1,000,000' link, but paypal wouldn't let me since they can't back that as easily. which is fine, it was just a joke anyway. Like anyone would do that... a good dream, but until it happens, not somethingg that i'm expecting. Apparently, paypal will only let me have up to a donate $10,000 USD link. if, for some reason, you wish to donate $10,000 USD, i would be extreemly happy, and would probably have a heart attack... well, maybe not a heart attack, but i would be gasping for air, trying to get a grip on reality and trying to wake up. Although, yeah. :) not the point.

Enjoy your stay

(kind of happy, kind of sad... be forwarned... this will probably dampen your day... although, if you look at it differently... it might brighten your day... and some of it will make you smile either way... unless you're a heartless prick... this is based on true events...)


i been away
and it's been so long
but i'm here today
'n' i wrote this song
but i don't know why
you can feel so bad
'n' you sat 'n' you cry
'n' you got so mad
i was goin somewhere
i was not here then
and the times we share
all the things were when
we could, sit under the stars
'n' look up so high
we could, look out past mars
way up, in the sky
but when i'm there and you know
theres not somethin wrong
but you, still wanna go
when i'm back, so long
but i, don't wanna lose you
so i try so hard
and i, don't think i knew you
'n' i bought this card
it says...

hey litttle baby
i missed you so much
of course i missed you
you are like my crutch
i... fall back, you catch me
i... don't know what's wrong
maybe there's somethin deeper
in this song...

i signed it: love me
and sent it to you...
i waited long nights
for it to get through...
maybe it was bad
to try this way...
you thought i didn't care
for more than one day...
and then it got there
and you felt it true...
you understood that i care
so much about you...
and no one understands
what has gone wrong...
there's, somethin in you
that makes me so strong...
i do not understand
exactly why...
maybe in the nights
when i still cry...
i don't know what has happened
and i don't know when...
maybe you can tell me
or we should be friends...
'cause friends they last forever
and i, would never let have to let go...
the things that part us
they would, never have to show...
but then i realize
that could not be...
theres, to much there
to much, inside of me...
friends they are forever
but that doesn't mean...
anything else isn't
just hasn't been seen...
you think you know me
but i, just can't tell...
there are, things i hide
'n' i do it so well...
maybe sometime
when we're all alone...
maybe then those things
they could be shown...
do you ever wonder
what went wrong...
somewhere back in time
before, light was shawn...
what was it that happend
what was way back then...
in the beginning when we
weren't yet friends...
i don't know why the things
i feel right now...
don't make no sence inside
or feel or how...
maybe together
we can understand...
maybe apart we'd have to
make a stand...
against the things that
drove us apart...
against the things that never
hit the mark...
so i went out
i got another card...
one that could say it
finding it was hard...
it said:

hey little baby
do you understand...
all the things i feel
when i'm mad...
the things that hold us
deep inside their hands...
the things are hidden
all across the lands...
hey pretty girl
do you feel the part...
hey pretty woman
you're inside my heart...

i think i picked it
'cause it felt so right...
i knew it felt good
all through the night...
i signed it:

hey little baby
hope you understand...
'n' maybe someday
i can be your man...
- love, me

put it in the mail
and sent it off...
don't think you got it
guess that it was lost...
i really hate that
how it, never works out...
i never understand
the things i feel about...
but maybe someday
when i look real deep...
maybe some night
when i cannot sleep...
i'll think about it
i'll understand...
but, until that day
i can't take your hand...
i don't know what went wrong
i cannot see...
the things that hurt so bad
inside of me...
maybe someday when it
feels so right...
i'll hold you baby,
all... through the night...
until that day
i don't know what will be...
what will have changed
what the future will see...
sometimes it's crystal
and it feels so right...
sometimes it hazes again
before the night...
i went out again,
got another card...
the last one i sent,
i guess i tried too hard...
this one was simple,
but it was still so nice...
second never made it,
but this was still trice...
it said:

hey little lady
do you feel this way...
do you understand
what i feel each day
the things inside me
i don't understand...
but maybe someday
i can take your hand...

it was short,
but made so much sence...
although i don't know
if it was penence...
the last one didn't make it
and i felt so bad...
i signed it:

i miss you baby
hope you understand...
- love: me...

i looked around for you
but did not find...
the you, when i went
the you, i left behind...
then there you were and
it felt so good...
when, i did see you
it felt like it should...
i surpressed my feelings
i looked in your eyes...
tilted my head
didn't show surprise...
i said:

hey pretty baby
i know it's been so long...
how have you been
were you ok when i was gone...

i kept a focus
deep inside your eyes
watched them lower
watched what did demise...
you said:

hey there mister
yes it's been so long...
i hate to tell you
that you're not the one...

my head lowered
i was so damn sad...
all that i understood
all that i had...
just disapeared
and it was gone so fast...
i don't know why some things
they just can't last...
i titled my head
knew not what to say...
i thought a second
bout what it was that way...
i said:

alright baby
guess i understand...
the things inside you
fell out of my hand...
and maybe someday
there'll be someone else...
someone just like you
who feels somethin' else...
i'm not mad at you
but i hurt so much...
sometimes there's things
that i just can't touch..

i went home and i felt
so damn sad...
so much had happened,
it was really bad...
i walked into the door
and then i saw...
right there on the floor
there was a card...

Hey there mister
you've been gone so long...
i hate to say this
but i met someone...
they're not like you
but they're so damn nice...
i'm really sorry,
but i've paid the price...

my eyes were watered
they were full of tears...
couldn't read the bottom
it wasn't clear...
i put it down
and i walked away...
went to my bedroom
grabbed the phone on the way
i almost called you
'cause that's what we did...
when somethin hurt us
and, this sure did...
then remembered what had
just gone on...
i put the phone down
my bed, i laid on...
i tried to forget
everything before...
i fell asleep
and opened another door...
inside i found you
and you understood...
i wrapped my arms around you
where you stood...
at least in dream land
you i still had...
at least in dream land
things they weren't so bad...
when i woke up
i gave you a call...
some guy answered
where i stood, the phone did fall...
i had forgotten about
what went wrong...
i don't really understand
why this went on...
maybe someday
i will understand...
maybe somehow
maybe in this land...
i went to the store
got another card...
this one was harder
and i looked so hard...

Hey pretty lady
i don't understand...
the cards you hid
and they were in your hand...
maybe someday when things are right...
maybe someday, or at least some night...
i'll have a vision,
it will become clear...
right now the end,
feels so damn near...
i hold on,
i will never let go...
i realize
there's always tomorrow...
i hope you're happy
hope this guy works out...
but if he hurts you
imma lay him out...
no one ever said
it'd be this way...
i can never
say that its okay...
i don't want you to feel
that you've done wrong...
just keep it real
and, know that i'm strong...

i signed it

keep yourself safe
and always take care...
if you need me just call
and i will be there...
the things inside me
were beaten down...
some things were hidden
but much has been found...
- love: me...

maybe someday
i will understand...
or maybe someday
i will leave this land...
it doesn't matter
some things just don't change...
sometimes what happens
it just feels so strange...
i really miss you
but i hope you're fine...
i think about you,
yes, all the time...
but i'm lettin go
and i'll be alright...
try not to feel bad,
this was in sight...
i should have held you
and always kept you close...
the next day i got 3 letters
and i, almost...
fell on over and,
hit the floor...
"return to sender"
but the, seals were tore...
at least you read them
or at least would seem...
i reread them to see
what you had seen...
at the bottom of one
you had wrote...

please forgive me
i just don't know...

i cried again,
guess i'm just not strong...
you were the one
that helped me last so long...
but then i found strength
when i read...

i love you baby,
trust me, it's not dead...
something's wrong though
i don't understand...
i wish i did,
i would then take your hand...
but now i'm empty,
and i just don't know...
i'm really sorry
but i have to go...

i went and laid down
went right back to sleep...
at least in dream land
i don't have to weap...
'cause there i have you
and that will not change...
sometimes life is just
so damn strange...
i really miss you
hope that you do know...
but i'm still happy
and i have to go...
know that i'm okay,
and that i'm fine...
know i loved you,
but your hearts not mine...
i understand,
but i don't feel this way...
i just wish
that you could stay...
maybe someday
whem i'm all alone...
you will call me sometime
on my phone...
and i will smile again
feel so good...
things will be again
just as they should...
hope you're happy
and you're doin okay...
i signed this letter
and sent it today...
- Love: me...

Untitled...
Name it as you read it - you're welcome to suggest a name...
Click 'n' Speak...
(click 'n' speak requires Yahoo! Messenger)

imma kick your ass
imma cut your throat
i don't give a damn
what the fuck you wrote
and the time is now
and the time has come
no more time for how
'cause this thing is done
i don't give a damn
what the fuck you say
it don't matter man
if you kneel 'n' pray
forgiveness found
when forgiveness sought
dont you push your luck
'cause you life i've got
i don't listen to
all the shit that spews
all the ones who knew
shit that's on the news
and you think i care
and ya think you're right
imma tell you now
much to my delight
i don't give a damn
i don't give two shits
if you wanna fight
come on up 'n' bring it
imma cut you down
right on to the ground
if you bleed on me
we'll see what we see
but the bottom hits
when the top it falls
makes the ground collapse
and the world get tall
but you think you know
like you think i care
but the world is new
and it's now aware
of the shit you pulled
of the shit you hid
all the times you bulled
playin not stupid
like you knew the answer
like you didn't cheat
like the world's own cancer
doesn't stop, just eats
and you think i even
even give a damn
bout your new beginning
bout your uncle sam
and you think the world's
always full of shit
when it doesn't help
try to destroy it
'cause you think you know
and you think you're best
you just arogent
'nother pain in the ass
and you flauntin money
that you do not have
all the shit you thinkin
makes me think your dumb
make you think your winnin
what will not be won
make you think the answer
lays somewhere dormant
but you just so blind
that you'll not find it
and i do not care
no i do not think
that you could ever
find the ways to think
that the times are near
that the end has come
that the world of fear
has crumbled, undone
i don't really think
that you'll even know
what the fuck is extinct
without that nature show
and you still just watch
and you never learn
just another forest
you been sent to burn
it don't matter really
not to you at least
another fire pays
for another lease
just for you this morning
just for you to see
that you pimpin 'n' whoring
your childrens future for greed
i don't think you under,
no not understand
what the fuck's the matter
with your poker hand
it's not all about
the money at stake
money aint nothin
if the world you take
and you think the answer
can be found with more
more burnin and cuttin
former forest floor
now a parkin' lot
outside of some store
sellin cheap ass product
come from another shore
'cause there's no more resources
at least not around
'cause you've burned them all
right on to the ground
no more time for thinkin
no more time to waste
gotta fix the problem
gots to come make haste
and that's all that i've
yes, i've got to say
so lets save our lives
fix this shit today...

first they said i'm dim
gone out on a limb
no more time for him
crawlin under skin
so i lived the life
'n' i grew to fight
none that takin shite
when the rest you bite
growin up with that
gonna tip my hat
to the ones who sat
took the time to look at
what i was back then
when shit hit the fan
and they knew it when
they looked passed the bend
now the fog has lifted
now they say i'm gifted
all perception shifted
to what now is given
now i'm strikin back
in the aftermath
to much time for wrath
ya best watch your back
'n' i'm comin through
no more time for you
don't care what'cha do
'cause i've come for you
no more waits for lates
no more long debates
no more feelin hates
now i'm makin haste
gonna cut ya down
right on down to size
gonna don my crown
as i spread her thighs
what's that you say?
tell me that's your wife?
guess that's the price ya pay
for havin lived your life
maybe think you should
maybe wish you could
maybe think it would
have at least done good
but, nah, you wrong
no one hears your song
when you strike that gong
'n' you spark your bong
no one cares what's up
no one seems to know
they just say shut up
'n' tell you to go
so here's the deal
why not take the wheel
get up off my heel
'n' get your own damn feel
gonna guide you through
takin time for you
learnin what to do
when it's only you
no more watchin me
you don't wanna see
you don't wanna be
what you found in me
wouldn't work, no way
at least not today
'less it's time to pay
for another day
gonna look at you
try see what you do
try find if it's true
to much doubt in you
'n' i say what's up
'n' i say what's wrong
'n' i mean hey you
no more time for song...

Written to the beat (in my head - i haven't checked it) of eminem's mockingbird (encore album)
don't like it? like it? comment... message me about it Click 'n' Speak...
Click 'n' Speak requires Yahoo Messenger...

so i knocked on your door
but i don't know why
always seems to hurt so much...
but i come back each day
'n' i knock once more
don't know why i even try...
all i know is that when i look
and then when i see
all the things i feel inside...
i can sum it up baby
all at once, maybe
think of you, almost makes me cry
but still i think
what if it was
'n' what if it failed
what then would i have...
no more dream of you
no more hope for you
no more time for you
inside my life...
so i sat and thought
what about when
we did sing that song
when you looked back
into my eyes...
and i looked at you, maybe
right through you, baby
saw what's true, baby
don't make me cry...
don't know if
at the end,
all we know will be
if it lasts like it should inside...
when i try to hold it
it gets all folded
lose what i held
'cause it trys to hide...
'n' if you think that
lil things we had can make me not cry
imma tell you strate out tonight...
what we had is gone baby,
wasn't once, maybe
but that is gone baby
don't make me hide...
what about that time
when we did that thing
when we stayed up all through the night...
when i looked at you
and saw what's true
and coudlnt' stop
to help what's deep inside...
'n' if you think
that the answers
are so plane to find
imma ask you straight out right now...
come 'n' show it to me
'cause i just can't see
what you seein
when i'm inside...
'n' if you want right now
to let me know that
you want this too,
that you want to hold me through the night...
that you wanna love me
and not forgrant me
then come 'n' see me
through the night...
and if you wanna look right now
back at me like this...
come on and say the word...
i know the answer
don't know the question
but come 'n' ask it
it's in your court...
'n' if you feel
that the world will wait
and all time will stop
when you look back into my eyes...
imma tell you now
don't let that go
'cause it's not somethin
you'll find again...
'n' when i wait for you
'n' i think things through
'n' the answer falls back to you...
it's always you, girl
that falls to my, world
don't know how
but i sure know why...

fingers got tired... don't like it... live with it...

... this is just... hmmm... i don't know...
Closer

Closer...
A little nearer every night...
Closer...
The end it seems it is in sight...
Closer...
They do not realize that it might...
Closer...
Be the last thing in this fight...
Closer...
The blood it surges through my brain...
Closer...
Driving through the former pain...
Closer...
Bursting through the older stain...
Closer...
Hearing footsteps in the rain...
Closer...
It doesn't matter any more...
Closer...
That something knocking at my door...
Closer...
With every moment on the shore...
Closer...
I start to feel it at my core...
Closer...
What the fuck is going wrong?
Closer...
I cannot take this toll the gong...
Closer...
I'm not saying I'm not strong...
Closer...
Lets see you walk for this long...
Closer...
Judgement comes and judgement knows...
Closer...
Holding truth just so damn close...
Closer...
Wrapped in lies but still it goes...
Closer...
Along the path it knew you chose...
Closer...
In the end when all is gone...
Closer...
And you think that you've not done wrong...
Closer...
When you see what you have done...
Closer...
Your flesh burns for so damn long...
Closer...
Eturnal days eturnal nights...
Closer...
Eturnal struggle eturnal fights...
Closer...
Eturnal dark eturnal lights...
Closer...
Eturnal pain from eturnl knights...
Closer...
Do you want to feel my wrath...
Closer...
Watch your step soon it'll be last...
Closer...
Know the things that you have cast...
Closer...
It's time for you to see your path...

Memories

Livin' in the dark, I guess I'm stuck inside my head
tryin' to see things that happened, gettin' no where instead
the future to you, is like the past is to me
it's in the dark, but at the park, get your future for fee
I don't know if you know, I don't care if you say
I don't remember the shit, that didn't happen today
maybe you think, like I remember what was
but imma tell you right now, 'n' imma tell you because
look at this shit, imma tell you right now
the things that I know, are the things that were 'wow'
I don't remember what was, I don't know if you care
why I tell you this shit, guess so you can beware
that the morning it comes, and the morning it brings
another new beginning, another time with no strings
got nothin' from yesterday, got much the now
so remember when walkin', and if you say ciao
in the morrow I won't know, in the morrow it's gone
come in sit in the darkness, where the light is not shawn
imma tell you right now, imma tell you straight up
that the morrow there's nothin', so why not just shut up
I don't give a damn, bout the time that once was
'cause its not anymore, at least to me just because
I don't remember a damn thing, at least that was then
you wanna play games, and you wanna preten'
but I think that you don't know, what the fuck is at ends
maybe when you come lookin', come to make amends
I won't remember what happened, or that you were my friend
raise my hands when I sit down, clear my mind to ascend
you don't know what I'm sayin', and don't hear what I said
so I try to talk louder, but get quiet instead
'cause it really don't matter, not one damn little bit
and if you think that it does, then you're just full of shit
'cause like really guess what's wrong, tell me what do you see
when I ask you what's now gone, and you speak plain to me
do I really remember, is there something? could be
when I try to think back then, but it's too dark to see
and you try to understand, what the hell has gone wrong
and you ask and you question, and the answers aren't long
'cause I don't remember, I don't know what has been
if you think like I should know, I was there - should have seen
guess I did - but it's gone, just like everythin' else
there no tape I can grab, no one put on the shelf
maybe one day I'll have, some flash back of some kind
get a memory or somethin', some shit flashed from some time
but then when it happens, what then can I think
am I just imaginin', or is this really a thing
I guess I just won't know, but at least should I care?
or just embrace it, and the fact that it's there
should it matter right now? should I even give a damn?
what the fuck, like who cares, at least it's somethin', but DAMN!

Written to the beat from Eminem's 'the real slim shady'

sometimes when i think... i know... i know i do
but then when i can try... i don't... know what to do
but sometime after that... i try... to rebecome
what i just could not be... and why... i guess just 'cause
i really just don't know... what was... what is right now
maybe i just should go... but where... i do not know
and if you think you do... then tell... me what to do
'cause i am still right here... right where... i cannot see
but if you think you can... then try... to be my friend
i don't really know why... maybe... i guess i should
or maybe i should stay... right here... right in this place
i don't know what would change... not now... been so long here
i really do not find... the an-swers are so clear
the world it fell apart... or no... wait yeah that's wrong

you know i'm here
don't try to hide
the things you fear
come from inside
the world is full
of brand new life
the times we knew
that were sublime
so imma try to
make this thing
come from within
make a new rhyme
but i don't really
have the time
so what the fuck
can't hear the chime

so come and take my hand... i know... i know you could
don't try to pretend... the things... that never were
were somewhere in the dark... trying... to first occur
and if you think you know... you don't... so don't pretend
just because somewhere near... you might... find at the end
a rope that seems to say... finish... the line is close
the race it is not won... don't try... don't try like most
for some reason you don't... think that... you have a chance
the world is full of 'love'... but no... but no romance
and if you understood... then why... it seem like this

you know i'm here
don't try to hide
the things you fear
come from inside
the world is full
of brand new life
the times we knew
that were sublime
so imma try to
make this thing
come from within
make a new rhyme
but i don't really
have the time
so what the fuck
can't hear the chime

so don't act like you know... you don't... you can't see this
i do not think you can... you can't... i know you can't
so why not just pretend... like most... like they all do
to say that they still know... still know... just what to do
you know i sometimes think... that things.. they end like this
but nothing really does... but can... still fall from bliss
there's nothing left to say... bout this... at least not now
but maybe if there was... then i... would spew that how
the world has come to find... the end... end of each day
when the sun goes for sleep... 'n' night... comes out to play...

you know i'm here
don't try to hide
the things you fear
come from inside
the world is full
of brand new life
the times we knew
that were sublime
so imma try to
make this thing
come from within
make a new rhyme
but i don't really
have the time
so what the fuck
can't hear the chime

you know i'm here
don't try to hide
the things you fear
come from inside
the world is full
of brand new life
the times we knew
that were sublime
so imma try to
make this thing
come from within
make a new rhyme
but i don't really
have the time
so what the fuck
can't hear the chime

i don't think...
i'm holier than thou
and i know...
to me you're so kind now
i just wish...
for us there was more time
but i know...
the thoughts that are sublime
do you not...
see what it is i mean
when i look...
'n' know that it would seem...
that there is...
something hidden in dream...
but i look...
and can't find what i mean...
i wish i knew, i really do...
but i can't find it today!!
wake up! what the hell is wrong
i don't know
but i've searched for so damn long
cannot see...
what it is i want
when i look...
it hides, but still it taunts
can you find...
the meaning of this rhyme
do you know...
what i say each time
when i think...
and meaning do not find
but you still...
seem to think all's fine...
maybe soon...
i'll find what's in this rhyme
i wish i knew, i really do...
but i can't find it today!!!
WAKE UP!!! what the hell's going on
i don't know...
what the hell is wrong
but i look...
i look but do not see
wish i did...
i wish eturn-a-lly!!!

OK - this is a not so normal post for me... so bear with me...

I appologize to those of you who have taken the time to make comments on my page... It would seem as if HaloScan (the provider of the commenting service i use(d)) has a limit on the number of comments available. I should have noticed this earlier, however due to the fact that my firewall was preventing me from viewing the comments, i couldn't tell.

I have since switched to blogger's own commenting system, which was not available when i first started the commenting system. Although i have lost all the previous comments, i have taken the time (quite a lot of time) to go through and enable commenting on all the previous posts. Enabling this requires that you edit every individual post seperately, and enable it. There really should just be a check list that you could alter without having to open the posts. Oh well, maybe that'll be a new feature soon...

My appologies again.

- Kain McBride

untitled
ya don't like it - you could suggest a name

falling through the streets, i am
walking over clouds, i will
try to pull the grass, from the
sky that is so proud, so i
like to understand, what the
hell is going on, when it
seems to open up, but i
do not find the an-swer...
something looking back, at me
when i try to find, it's own
self that won't be shown, to me
but it likes to know, that i
watch it while i roam, and i
don't care what it owns, but i
dont stop where i roam, so it
deoesnt' seem to ma-tter...
everytime i think... something...
happens around me... something...
falls up from the ground... some-how...
following the chaos...
i never understood... why the...
things that seem so good... never
follow through their ends... but they...
like the things that fell - first...
other times i know... that the...
answer is unseen... and the...
reasons make no sence... but the
answer is so im-port-ant...
sometimes when i think... i see
truths that are so clear, but they
really seem to fade, when i
look at them more carefully...
sometimes in the dark... there is...
light that can't be seen... not yet...
sometimes when it falls... we find...
reasons with resolve... but not...
yet at least i think, or know
what has happened since, not now
but sometime soon yes? maybe
but what about the mean-ing...
maybe over there... in the
grass that is so high... above...
clouds that feel so close... when i
try not to remember...
sometimes in the clouds, above them
they feel so soft and wet, but still
cold and not the same, when i
look i see the light, now...
sometimes when on top... i see...
things that make no sence... like the...
birds who fly so low... soaring...
underneith my feet... strangely...
but i don't know why... they don't
stop at least to rest, but they
just keep flying straight, never
looking for the answer...
maybe in the dark, when they
all lay down to sleep, in their
nests that seem so high, when they
fly out of the sky, but it
really is not yet, at least
not yet from what i see, saw since
i have looked around, but not
seen what's on the ground, maybe
looking down here now, i see
what has never been, seen yet
by those in the clouds, yes those
who like to know the next, thing...
today i like to see, what was
happening today, not see
what was once before, but see
what is now not then, dont see
what has not begun, can't say
what has not been seen, don't know
what has yet have begun, has not
had it's chance at bat, yet
i guess that maybe now, or soon
would be a time to say, maybe
that i have finished, writing
something with no pur-pose...

My World...
You wanna step in to my world
i dare ya, come on, lets take the trip!
no more hidin' in the real world
take my hand, try not to slip!
you think there's somethin in my world
to help you, stop you, before you flip!
nothin like that in my world...
hope you like it, try not to trip...

Someone told you bout my world...
don't know who, but they spoke wrong!
whoever told you bout my world...
painted it nice with words of song!
nothin like that in my world...
all the people don't get along
NOOO!! you think it's easy in my world?
not much left, to carry on...

You wanna tell me bout my world?
what is there, you think you know?
come 'n' tell me all about my world!
do not speak what you can't show!
you think you know about my world?
in the dark, things seem to glow!
another thing about my world...
shadows pour, and seem to grow!

You're not to sure about my world?
what made you feel so damn sure!
In the first place about my world...
something someone said was pure...
Why not tell me about my world...
what they said, what was the lure?
Come on 'n' talk about my world...
In the dark when you're insecure...

Lets take a look into my world...
like why not, since we are here...
dig a hole into my world...
try to get out, try to see clear...
Another attempt out of my world...
time to leave, scared of what you hear?
One more thing about my world...
In the rain, that noise? its fear..

been a while since i wrote anythin...
so fuck it... here goes...

hey! you lookin at me
like you know me? you don't
just because, there are things
inside me, that are shown
well i tell ya, i live
and i breath, just for this
for the power, inside
that helps me, maintain bliss
but you think, just because
you can read, what i write
that the things, that you see
are inside, what you might
think is me, but it's not
let me tell you, the fact
do not hide, in the plot
just because, what once was
is gone now, aint forgot
but you think, that all is
but i tell you, it's not
you don't listen, i say
what i think, don't betray
what it was, gone astrey
at the end, of each day
when i sit, when i think
when i write, and i drink
and you think, that you know me
you don't know a thing!
imma tell you right now
what it means, to be ME!
and you don't, understand!
and you don't, see what's wrong!
at the end of the day!
when i'm sparkin my bong!
and you wait, like you know
that the answers inside
aint no fortune, in here
there's no cookie, to hide
what i saw, what i see
everyday, of this life
just to know, what is wrong
and the end is in site
but you think, like it matters
you think like i care
well i do, but fuck!
what you e'spect me to do!
i don't know what is now!
i don't know what's begun!
all i know, what is next!
that the war has begun!
and the demons surounding
and the demons they fight!
and each morning, another
demon finds his grave site!
'cause i know there are billions
no, trillions in fact
i don't know how to say this
but im sendin em back
imma cut em all down
at the end of the day
that which was, is no more
and it's not, gonna stay!
'cause i'm sick of this shit
of this dyin, there is
i don't want, it no more
all this hurt, in these kids
and you think, like it matters
and you think, like i care
well i do, but FUCK!!!
what you e'spect me to do!
I don't know, not no more
it's so hard, to see past
all that is, on this earth
that try, make it last
but it fights, against self
and it busts, this shit up
and i fight, to protect
what is here, 'n' what's not
but they try, like they know
and they act, like they do
but they nothin, not one
and they help, no-one through
but you know, at the end,
yes the end, of the day
when all rests, thinkin easy
that my minds, still astrey
so i stand, and i fight
this fight, that's not won
just pretend, like it's nothin
no big deal, has been done
but i can't, just lay down
and abandon, this cause
imma fight, til it's done
and i say this, because
i aint thinkin, that nothin
this world, understands
can begin, to believe
what's inside, and what stands
so i say, unto you
yes i say, all at once...
WHAT THE FUCK!!!
there...
i said it...
its done...

Night before Christmas - A La Mouse

t'was just after midnight
and all through the house
not a creature was stiring...
not even the mouse
the mouse doesnt' rest easy
though no one knows why
some think it had something
to do with the reindeer that fly
he saw them one evening
he saw them outside...
he ran from the window
he ran fast to hide
he turned 'round the corner
ran right 'round the wall
to dart for his mouse hole
but then he did fall
when he saw right before him
a large man in red
who had not used the door
but the chiminey instead
so the mouse crawled on backwards
yes, flipped on his back
and he peered out at the large man
who was not donned in black
even thoguh he had just been
just been right through
a years worth of ashes
he was clean as, yes you...
he went to the fire place
and he reached way down low
and he took milk and cookies
and the mouse watched them go
as the large man he ate them
before pulling from a bag
some presents for the children
and one for aunt Mag
as the mouse hid down low in
his humble mouse hole
the large man did turn to him
'n' did put down a bowl
and he pushed it on forward
yes straight to the mouse
in it was a cheese block
the size of his house!
and the mouse then was happy
yes happy instead!!!
he had food for the whole year!!!
so he jumped back in bed
and then up through the chimeny
the large man did go...
as the mouse went to dream land...
he heard... "HO, HO, HO..."

(ok - so i'm in a rose writing kinda mood today... i guess this is a bit like a rosery... well, not really... in that it's not religious, and it's not long, and it's 3 seperate things... hmmm... oh well... it's two poems and this, which is kind of odd... if you don't enjoy, that's not my problem... if you do - good for you - i'm glad you enjoyed your reading... :) comments are ALWAYS welcome...)

*looks around*
OMG A FLOWER!!!
*looks closer*
it's a rose!!!
*runs up to it...*
a white rose, no red...
*looks closer again...*
a multi coloured rose bush...
*smiles largle and reaches for a rose*
OUCH!!! bloody thorns...
*the blood drips from the thorn to the white rose*
hmm... so much for white roses...

More Rose Poety...
a rose for every hour...
that passes in the day...
although i think of you each moment,
for this i could not pay...
but one for every hour...
not for all moments within...
the roses will be with you...
when i am home, away with kin...

Rose Poetry...
everytime i think about you...
i'm left with feelings of regret...
regret for things that did not happen...
at least that did not happen yet...
although my thoughts are with you...
tonight you are alone...
i thought these roses might do...
to keep you company by the phone...
and maybe if you call me...
we can talk for a time tonight...
i hope you liked the roses...
the red ones, and the white...

(Read to the slinky song tune...)

Slinked Sidekick
who rides on a horse
avoids intercourse
and knows that guy in the mask...
don't know,
won't go,
what does it show?
everyone knows it's tonto,
everyone knows it's tonto
it's tonto,
it's tonto
a sidekick to that guy on the horse...
it's tonto,
it's tonto
he knows that he's not the main course...

just something i wrote - read it to the tune of amazing grace 'n' read it slow - don't rush it!!!

i once...
was lost...
but now...
i'm found..
was gone...
but now...
i'm back...
looked left...
looked right...
stepped front...
stepped back...
did the...
ho-key...
po-key...
i once...
played games...
like hop...
hop scotch...
i once...
jumped rope...
as well...
while jump...
ing rope...
i tripped...
one day...
i tripped...
and then...
i fell...
but then...
i got...
back on...
my feet...
back to...
my feet...
i stood...
in hand...
i took...
my jump...
ing rope...
and then...
started...
again...
i jumped...
so high...
i jumped...
so fast...
i skipped...
all day...
i did...
and then...
i put...
my jump...
ing rope...
aside...
to give...
the kids...

once upon a summers night
between the stars i saw the light
and by the moon there was a fright
when constalations start to fight
and next to that i saw a knight
riding on a horse of white
in armour that he wore so tight
he strut around with all his might
he swung his sword and stopped the fight
and weilded the eturnal light
and then fell from his horse of white
into the shadow, hid from the light
the moon that shawn around the night
reflecting all the wanten light
the guy, he sat, he was the knight
and got back up to stop the fight
he jumped back to his horse of white
and road around all through the night
he walked and galloped out of site
but came right back when the time was right
and now i sit and now i write
about the one eturnal night
the one in which the horse of white
brought forth a mighty holy knight
who with his sword and with his might
managed to stop the constsilations fight
and then turned round and road from sight
and now we commemorate that night

The Defender...

'til i fall
'til i die
'til you see
'n' know why
imma cut
imma bleed
imma try
to succeed
'n' you know
'n' you feel
'n' you hear
but don't see
so i grasp
so i grip
so i take
and i flip
fight this war
fight with bless
fight with heart
clean this mess
make it go
make it end
make it quit
understand
what i see
what i know
what i do
makes it grow
a new rank
a new leaf
a demon
no releaf
but i stand
but i fight
but i kill
every night
time is new
time was fun
time is up
it's not won
least not yet
least not now
least not here
anyhow
gotta see
gotta know
gotta win
make it go
time to take
time to see
time for you
to see me
time to cut
time to bleed
time for you
to succeed
all this shit
all that's there
all that stink
everywhere
in the dark
in the flames
in the light
take the blames
end it now
end it soon
end the fight
at high noon
in the dark
in the light
in it all
end this fight
make it stop
make it go
make it run
no more show
if it hides
if it's here
if it tries
to appear
cut it up
cut it's chance
cut it down
no romance
and it dies
and it shows
and it's done
so i go...

What Does It Mean..?
What does it mean, when all that was
Gets up and leaves, and why? Just 'cause
Not understanding why it does
But watching as it pushes and shoves...

What does it mean, when all you know
Just ups itself, decides to go
You try to make it stop "HEY YO!"
But that can't even make it slow...

What does it mean, when all you see
Challenges all that you can be
And fights, your rights, your enemy
But you still try to let it free...

What does it mean, when you are young
And all the battles, that you've won
Just let you know, that it's begun
But you neither turn, nor hide, nor run...

What does it mean, when every day
The fights, you fight, they end this way
And all your memories, go astray
But still you don't know, what to say...

What does it mean, when all that is
Your enemy, he says it's his
And so he takes it, for his kids
But mostly just keeps it, for his...

What does it mean, when you know it's wrong
And all, your life, is found in song
And the injustice, strikes the gong
But I guess, it won't last long...

What does it mean, when all you are
Can't be explained, no, not by far
Except your lungs are filled with tar
But really, that's just one more scar...

What does it mean, when your friend
Who stood by you, until the end
Says that it all, was just pretend
But that's ok, t'was just for lend...

What does it mean, when it does flop
And it all cycles, to the top
Ancient life falls, with just one chop
But in the end, I guess we stop...

ok - due to the fact that vampiric poetry was actually requested - here goes nothin...

A Life Unlived...
Sometimes I guess that it would seem
That I have lived a tainted dream
No chance it seems, i can redeem
Just continue on, alone, i mean...

Immortal days, immortal nights
Hiding from, all natural lights
In darkness, seek, eternal fights
The little necks, get little bites...

And blood stained flesh, it smells so good
It tastes divine, you know it would
Let them come back? maybe you should
Hell NO!, You'd kill em all if ya could...

What now is cold, it once was warm
At least before, feeding took form
For vampire life, this is the norm
I once was not, but then "unborn"...

So hiding from, the light of day
I sometimes don't know, what to say
But always ask, humans to play
"Don't play with your food!" mother'd say...

And if you don't know what is next
The search through your sacred text
Look me up, in the index
I am the end, and you are hexxed...

So what about the things I said?
When you laid comfortably in bed
and let my whispers sooth your head
They're all true, 'n' you're undead...

Just something i wrote while talking to a friend... comments are always welcome... *smiles*

yesh... i know...
*eats a fortune cookie...*
*chewing paper...*
how fortunate i must be to always get the prize...
"Under the tree, you will find #######!!!"
what's #######?
i will find something under the tree - but i had to chew up what i will find...
*scratches chin*
*looks under the tree...*
there's nothing under the tree!!! what the hell!!!
ooooo... grass...
*lays down in the grass and eats another fotune cookie...*
*chokes briefly on the paper inside... then coughs it up...*
"life is like a lawn, it doesn't always have to be water, 'n' you shouldn't wanna cut it short unless you're a golfer..."
*scratches chin*
so... under the tree... i will find ######
which is grass...
but life is like a lawn, which is also grass
so under the tree...
i will find my life!
*builds a little tree fort and moves into it, deciding to live under the tree...*
~ 2 days pass ~
*kicks the tree*
*walks back to the chinese restaurant and demands a new fortune cookie*
what? what do you mean? oh fine i'll have an egg roll...
*eats the fortune cookie... grabbing the fortune before chewing it beyond recognition...*
"do not put all your eggs in one basket..."
*grabs the little chinese food place worker guy..."
LISTEN!!! YOUR DAMN FORTUNE COOKIES ARE DEFECTIVE!!!
FIRST THEY HAD ME FIND GRASS UNDER A TREE!!!
THEN THEY TOLD ME TO LIVE UNDER THE TREE...
NOW THEY WANT ME TO BUY A NEW REFRIDGERATOR SO MY EGGS DONT HAVE TO SIT TOGETHER!!! I DONT EVEN HAVE ELECTRICITY UNDER THE TREE YET!!!
*demands a refund...*
*gets picked up by several men in white jackets...*
*is given i nice coat of his own with really long sleeves...*
no no, the tree is the other way... why are you taking me over the hill?
*put in a room with padded walls...*
*starts counting the things that he could have done with the paper instead of reading it...*
*wonders if the squirels and chipmunks have stolen his secret stache of tequila yet...*
...
"LUNCH TIME!!!"
what do you mean it's chinese food day?
*eats the fortune cookie...*
*reads the fortune...*
"life is like a tree, you must not leave it unattended..."
DAMNIT!!! THE SQUIRELS REALLY ARE STEALING MY TEQUILA!!!
*runs for the door...*
*feels a sharp pain for a second... then starts to get tired...*
nap time already?
*looks at the floor as it suddenly starts to move closer and closer to him...*
oooo... who are you?? i've never seen you before...
what do you mean you're the fortune cookie gnome?
i didn't even know there was a fortune cookie gnome, let alone that he lived up on the hill...
*scratches chin*
*wakes up...*
woah...
that was too weird...
*picks up his black crayon and continues drawing crosses on the padded walls...*

It Shows...
Walking through the grass, it grows...
Looking at the past, it blows...
Searching, but for what? who knows...
Don't want to have to wait? it shows...

And what about the path, you chose...
Where all the things you did, suppose...
Were beautiful, and stopped your woes...
But fell apart, and yes, it shows...

And what about the highs and lows???
And that feeling that comes, and goes..?
The truths that then, they did, expose...
But at least what's next, it shows...

When situations, juxtapose...
And angry fist, meets broken nose...
The tainted feelings, do propose...
But all in all... I guess, it shows...

Once upon my heart it bled
the tears of heart felt memories shed
and all emotion turns to red
when i don't find you in my bed
and i awake and see it's dead
that i have lost you in my stead
like a punch right in my head
when memories are pushed and spead

run from the passed and thrown away
not kept or charished in any way
just tossed and torn then left at bay
when feelings turned and went astrey
and tiny minds come out to play
with all that is, upon they prey
they try to shove, oh yes it's they
who want to steal your life in gray

and when you try to come back free
you announce all you've come to be
all the things that were given me
i tried to hide them mercifly
but hide you can't and so you flee
and all the others come to see
and watch you fall they watch with glee
they hold you under, eturnally

and watch you gasp and try to breath
they laugh and chuckle as you wease
you wipe your tears upon your sleeve
they leave you there they point and tease
you're finally back, times up, say cheese
there's nothing left, drop to your knees
and so you tried, it's done, so please
lets just go home... you win... i leave...

Ok... so i'm not in a poetic mood today... if that pisses you off... just wait for a day when i am poetic... :p lol... anyway... i just wanted to tell everyone that im' happy now... and that the girl who i was angry at i am no longer angry with and i wish her the best...

hmmm... as for everything else in life... well... today is my aniversery... yes... 7 years ago today i died in a car accident... so i guess it's a good day in that i'm still here... if you don't like my writing, i guess that it really won't make a difference to you, but... meh... fuck y'all... :p lmao
just kidding, anyway... :) have a great day everyone...

- Kain McBride Y!M or email

(... yes... i'm pissed... if you want to explain you're more than welcome to try...)

More Than You Know...

"I love you..."
"I love you too...
More than you know..."

what's that shit mean anyway?
that you love me so much,
you can just throw me the fuck away?
maybe that you think that things would be better today?

what, about, the time, you were away?
when we, spent to-gether, every single day
and you, told me, that this, was how it'd stay
but you lied, and fried, and tried, to me betray
so i look, at you, and don't, know what is new
don't know, what happened, what's wrong, whats up with you
don't answer, any-thing, i say or do
just deny, your part, and make, it hide from you
and now, what goes, i don't, think that you know
what happened, went wrong, what changed, it had to go
i don't, know why, i can't, let go this show
but now, it's gone, and you, i do not know
so what, is up, why don't, you just tell me
i don't, see why, you think, you can blame me
all that, happened, was 'cause, infidelity
you lied, you cheat, you hid, i could not see
and now, you still, try to, blame this shit
on some-one else, somewhere, i'm sick of it
you try, to make, me think, that i hit
something, so wrong, that made, you get out of it
you lie, to me, still now, i don't know why
maybe, it's best, that i, should say goodbye
maybe, to you, i don't, know why i try
do you, know what, you've lost, or still deny?
i laugh, sometimes, when i, sit back and think
about, the you, i loved, beyond the brink
how true, it felt, how much, you made me think
you loved, me to, but no, our love would sink
it's over, you lied, i can't, believe this shit
what's the, fuck's wrong, i could, not see it
i thought, you cared, your love, was full of shit
and now, you're gone, i guess, i'm done with it

(this is just something i started writing to someone randomly... no worries...

how ya doin lass?
did you miss me at all?
did ya notice i was gone?
did you think that maybe in there
that something had gone wrong?
did you think that somewhere still
there was somthing in the grass...
something under all...
things that wouldd be there my lass?
did ya ever wonder why?
why the things that they held true
wonder why there was no more
wonder why i'd been run thru?
maybe something over there
something farther than i see
maybe something in the grass
maybe something that killed me
maybe underneith the ground
maybe underniegh the air
maybe i cannot thin kit
maybe it just wasn't fair
i don't really undersatnd
i don't really see it right
i don't understand this shit
i don't undersatnd it's might
can you see the way i feel
can you feel the way i see
do you know what's happening
do you feel etunaty
do you watch me burn and die
do you watch me under thine
do you see my feel my pain
do you watch my wrath combine
do you know what happened then
do you know what disapeared
do you feel i cannot see
what has happened and i've feared
do you undersatnd what's wrong
do you know what happened then
do you feel and hear my song
do you undersatnd it when
when i ask you to repeat
when i ask you to saw now
that the world is full of heat
and i want to be with tthou
and the things they fall apart
and they make me want to fall
and they understand their part
and they kill me while i hall
all the things that undersatnd
all the things that never were
all the things that didn't matter
all the things that can adure
and the world was full of flames
and i lit it all on fire
and it burned while i watched
and it ashed when i retired
and i do not undersatnd
all the things that never were
but can you undersatnd
all the things there must adure
do you see what i must say
when i look and you don't see
do you see what i must do
for all eturnaty
do you want to undersatnd
what i must be feeling inside
do you want to realize
all the things that die with pride
do you want to be alone
like me, all inside my hate
do you want to realize
all the things tied in with fate
do you undersatnd my woh
do you realize my pain
do oyu understand what's wrong
do you know what has been gained

(lost my train of thought)
(hope you enjoyed it)

What the ... ??! So it's over..?

Everything, it fell apart
a broken arrow through my heart
i should have known back in the start
but i missed it, wanting your heart

what the hell? why did i miss?
when we did sit, when we did kiss
in the back, i heard the hiss
but ignored it and stayed like this...

when we watched the sky, you bled for me
you sealed your heart, eternally
i guess forever, falls to the sea
but i must accept your apology...

forever hurting in my mind...
i can't let you go, for i did bind...
but i gave it back, mayhaps too kind...
but to try again, to hit rewind...

i think i'd do things differently...
i think i'd call you to come to me...
i think i'd ask you in the city...
to pledge the love you had for me...

forget the passed, it's here no more...
it's over now, i can't ignore...
the you that loved me, ever more...
when ripples fade and close the door...

you've lied to me, and still you do...
i don't know why, what's left for you?
why still lie? you could be true...
and tell me what had changed with you...

i don't think it matters, i don't see how...
i don't know why, i see the now...
i still love you, some way, somehow...
but that doesn't matter, it's over now...

fuck the world...

the world is full of people who use you for everything you can do
they don't give a damn about what you've done or care what you've gone through
they pretend that everything you did was such a task for who?
for them, they say, "i worked all day," yeah, well, fuck you...

sometimes i guess it's best to forget everyone around
you're nothing to them anyway, just use and toss you to the ground
if anything actually mattered to them, it'd have to had been profound
but they're just little minded people who scurry round and round...

life is filled with ignorance, people who think they know
they try so hard to seem like they're right, the never let it go
all they care about is their image, the fakeness that they show
the world around them, when it looks, as if it mattered though...

blissful people all around - what a pretty thought
surrounded by the ignorant, be sure to not get caught
and if they try to take your hand, which happens quite a lot
just turn and run and get away and watch the fuckers rot...

sometimes you think that people care, sometimes you can believe
the lies around you to keep you there, to get you to not leave
other times it gets so hard, even just to breath
lets run away, yeah take my hand, got nothin up my sleeve...

(sometimes in life things don't matter... sometimes love can surpass things that you can't see it to overcome... sometimes all that matters is to be together... i hope i'm not alone in this view... i don't know... i just don't know anymore... i guess i've shown that in the recent posts... i hope you know how much i love you... and how strong love can be... trust in me and i will not let you down...)

Wind Through The Willow...

walking through the trees...
watching all the life...
loving moments past...
tangled in the grass...

i don't understand...
the things that live here...
all the green is grown...
then it all starts dieing...

i don't seem to know...
know what to do next...
everything it laughs...
while watching all my past...

i don't seem to mind...
or at least am not worth...
an understanding of this hurt...
a freedom from it's curse...

maybe it's alright...
maybe it's still fair...
just becuase i hurt...
doens't mean that they don't care...

and then when moments pass...
and things they come to be...
i don't think i know...
all eturnity...

and if you want to walk...
beside and with me...
then come and take my hand...
and feel my love for thee...

and if it doesnt' make you smile...
and doesn't make you care...
i guess that it was right...
and i should have left it threre...

sometimes when i sit...
i sit and i will write...
the feelings in my head...
get dumped right into sight...

there is no editing...
no care and no concern...
if you dn't like what you read...
then you don't like what you'd learn...

then sometime's there is...
some little extra bits...
added to trick myself...
written but not meant...

and if you still don't know...
and if you still don't care...
then i guess that's fine...
and i guess it's fair...

i don't really see...
i do not understand...
i cannot find the start...
i cannot leave this land...

i'm waiting on the shore...
alone for your return...
hoping you will find me...
hoping for another turn...

maybe i'm just selfish...
and really i don't deserve...
all the things i charish...
and all i wish to serve...

i guess it doesn't matter...
but i know it really does...
everything is backwards...
nothing is as it was...

but if everything goes backwards...
then what is really next???
if it ends in the beginning...
do i get another chance???

(ok... so i had a bit of a breakdown in my head... totally lost it... but, i don't know... i love her... i don't know what to do... there are things i wish i could take back... there are things i wish that wouldn't have happened... i don't know... i just hope that she still loves me that way... i just hope that she still can... maybe i'm just wishful...)

a thousand times forever

a thousand deaths upon my door
the times i've loved and lost you
a thousand times the wrath and more
the times i've lived without you...
a thousand miles i walked across
the times i've tried to find you...
a thousand lives grown cold with moss
the times i've had to hold you...
a thousand islands in the sea
the times that i have known you...
a thousand nations follow me
the times that i adore you...
a thousand feelings in my mind
the times that i explore you...
a thousand times that i am kind
the times that i restore you...
a thousand days in which i wait
the times i am benieth you...
a thousand years of twisted fate
the times i do retake you...
a thousand times we intertwine
the times that i lay with you...
a thousand shores spread across time
the times that i will love you...

(... i don't understand no more... just confused, messed up, no more... if it applys to you... ask about it if it concerns you... it if don't... well... i guess there's nothin to ask about then now is there? ...)

I dont know no more...

i dont understand no more
nothin makes no sence no more
can't come out and play no more?
why not just tell me before?
i don't know whats at the core
everythin's from a different shore
not that i don't care no more
but all this stuff, it starts to bore
time for new, time to explore
find all things i did ignore
not that you're not right no more
just that things aint like before
you wanna push back through my door?
try to make things like before?
time is passed, not there no more
i don't think i care no more
not that it matters anymore
everything that was before
died somewhere on a distant shore
memories are all but lore
fairy tails don't try for more
when i hurt i felt the roar
pain, insane, it tried to boar
right through my chest, my heart, it's core
and then it died, aint there no more
rely on nothing that is not your
self controlled by no one more
can't remember anymore
what it was i did adore
i guess it's over, like before
when nothing lasted anymore
and when you waited by the shore
i should have walked by and ignore
the you i saw that i adore
or at least did, but not no more
the hurt destroyed my inner core
and if it matters anymore
to anyone but me no more
then come walk back through my door
and ring my bell, and try once more
maybe then when you explore
you'll feel rejection tossed through the door
not that it matters anymore
i know you don't care like before
and why i continue for more
i don't know, i am a whore
always asking hurt for more
rejected, branded, what's my score
it just don't matter anymore
i failed, i lost, i won! highscore
but that don't matter anymore
it's all reset, pain at my core
lookin passed the old shore
i guess it don't matter no more
i guess you can't come play no more
i guess i shouldn't try no more
but you should have let me know before...

happiness unknown...

i don't know what to do now...
i decision... a single decision...
i don't understand it at all...
i don't know what to do anymore...
everything changed in just one moment...
one single moment that may not have been understood...
i don't know what to do at all anymore...
everything is different, but still the same...
sometimes it feels like it's the way it was meant...
but i don't know...
i don't believe that...
i think it was right before...
so much change... why now?
why was the change needed?
everything was perfect...
i don't know what to do now...
if a single moment in time
can change my life forever...
take away everything with meaning...
then what's the point... why bother?
i don't understand it... it's dumb...
it's stupid... why don't i understand...
am i that dumb? am i that stupid?
everything changed... and i still think it's there...
everything is gone and i can't accept it...
i don't know why... i don't know why i feel that...
it doesn't' matter... i should be able to be ok...
i should be able to move on like nothing happened...
i should be able to just continue without hurt...
why did it have to be this way?
why must i continue this road of penance?
listen to me when i'm talking to you...
you think you can control the fates of all life??
you're wrong... you've got to let it go...
you've got to understand...
you can't take everything from someone...
you can't just sit there and take it from them...
i don't know what to do anymore...
so i sit... and so i wait...
i don't know why, or for what...
i guess it doesn't matter...
when it gets here i'll know...
her decision, not mine...
i respect her choice...
but i don't understand...
and you, why did you show me this?
why did you show me her to take her from me?
why did i look in the first place...
why did i care...
why couldn't i have just left it be...
now it's over...
i don't understand why...
maybe it doesn't matter...
maybe it's better i don't understand...
maybe it's better that i suffer each moment to the fullest...
questioning everything and not letting myself passed...
maybe... i don't know...
she must know... she must understand...
so i suffer each moment...
because that must be the right thing to do...
i don't understand...
but she does...
and she must be right...
penance paid?
has penance passed?
is it done yet?
must i continue to suffer?
...